I was watching the new series “Inside Man”, or trying to without jumping off the nearest building, and I came to three conclusions:
- Moffat should never be allowed to create more than the pilot of a show. He has a (very) cool idea to start with, but the rest of the show has to bend around increasingly unlikely nonsense to make his plot work to the conclusion he wants to reach.
- Kustin-Miller unprojection is cool, and every commutative algebraist should know it; it gives us a way to normalize the seemingly arbitrary. Thank you Stavros for telling me about it. This just because my head drifted off to greener pastures.
- People love shitty chess. And they really should not.
Now, let me explain, or rather put up a disclaimer first: By shitty chess, I do not mean the entire Carlsen-Niemann affair. Though perhaps a larger meta-point surrounding deductive (that which is strictly logical) versus inductive reasoning (that is, a game of probabilities) could be made.
Because the reason characters like Sherlock Holmes are so alluring, and the reason we fall for the trap that is Moffat’s skills of giving us a convincing plot, is that we are collectively obsessed with the myth of having everything under control. And perhaps herein lies the issue: when our reasoning invariably fails, we invariably turn to panic and wild plot devices like little men in the derrière. And it is one of the reasons we are collectively anxious all the time (except those that are anyway half in the grave; byebye at this point.)
Here are two aspects of shitty chess that are really harmful in my opinion; the social shitty chess, and the strategical shitty chess. And while it may not be the core of our anxieties, it exponentiates the same, similar to how even likely inductive events become exponentially less likely and our probablistic intuition goes out the window.
To emphasize: I am not addressing those without power; I am addressing those with power in academia and broader society that a culture change in general is necessary in which we need to be more open with our own struggles in order to stop a self-multiplying of fears. Because for those with a cushy job it really is no biggie except for an awkward moment at the next department tea. To get the ball rolling:
About me: I constantly question my ability to do science. I am honestly unable to read papers (I do not understand squat) most of the time (the only way I can understand them is to reconstruct for myself), and while I hide it occasionally under a standoffish armor of “I will just do it better” it also terrified me enough that I considered several other careers (including chef and journalism etc). I keep doing mathematics mostly because I cannot keep myself from doing it (and my other passions offer way less job security) but honestly, I feel constantly on edge about it.
I honestly have no longterm way of dealing with it apart from “just doing it”. I dealt with some other situations though, and I want to discuss them here because they keep popping up in discussions. Fictional examples go go Power Rangers:
The social shitty chess is the shitty chess you play against another person. You imagine the things your opponent might do, his next move and the one after that. Problem is the one of inductive reasoning: your guess is not sure to begin with, and increasingly less likely as you imagine more and more steps on the ceiling.
Fictional example: student X and professor Y. X was depressed to begin with, and therefore had trouble succeeding, which led X to hide from Y for fear of not bringing enough to the discussions. Which piled up anxieties, which led to even less success and even more evasive maneuvers on the chessboard (I know these evasive maneuvers from myself, I am a true master in them). And student X may have very well been forgotten by the end of the odyssey, though that is not the point (it did not happen in this fictional case, for those interested in the lore. And the student got a pony). The point is, imagining the moves ahead just led to a vortex of anxiety.
So what to do in this case:
The first mandate, as I said, to the powerful in this situation: Be aware that many students will just be playing shitty chess. So lets be open about our own failings. Including the playing of shitty chess, as well as other struggles.
If you are in the situation, a different point may be made: though I think the onus is mainly on those with more control, that may be of little help to you. So first seek help. Just do it, you are not less normal for failing. Everyone is just coping with life, most of the time. Which also means that we have even less clue how to deal with it.
Second, realize that everyone else is playing shitty chess too. And failing, most of the time. Plus, every researcher bangs their head against problems at least twice a day (see above), and if they don’t despair over the problems they are facing, they aren’t worth their salt. Chances are, they are mostly just as defeated as you are (I sure am). The worst case outcome of shitty chess on the other hand is that they forget about you.
Also, don’t distract and try to remain in favor by offering yourself for other chores. Chances are, they forget you are a scientist. Because most of us are also too distracted by science (and the failing with it, and shitty chess of our own) to notice that you really need help. It is better to ask for help instead.
The strategic shitty chess is much worse, because more longterm. And because you play it against yourself. We strategize our future plans against imagined pitfalls and towards imagined success. And of course if you want the safety route, then all the power to you. However, things change; countries go to war, pandemics come and go, new technologies make jobs obsolete. All in all, this is a decent strategy. And noone has to have passion in what they do in their daily lives, it can equally just be a paycheck to spend on what you really want.
But for those of us who want to love what we do (or who just cannot bring themselves to be motivated to do anything else, let me be honest) it is not really a viable road to go down. And chances are, if what you are obsessed about is in any way marketable, it is likely you will be more happy and successful doing that. Because if you bang your head against something twice a day, it is much better if you actually like it.
Case in point: If a problem is in your head, try to solve it. Want to study biology, do it. And don’t go into medicine (just examples) because you think it is more marketable. The most successful CEOs these days are engineers, not MBAs. It is much better than wasting your time on something you aren’t excited about anyway. Because chances are you will have more success in your obsession. And delaying that will, you guessed it, just multiply your trouble, because you fall ever deeper into the trap of “having to do that now” and “cannot afford that now”. It is much better to try and fail sometimes, than ever longing for the grass on the other side. It may not be as green as you thought, but it may just be.
I know this personally, and it disables me to be torn between the things I should do but have no interest in and the things I want to think about; again, this from a position of power is easy to say, because I can just say fuck it and do what I want to do. So what should we do? One thing clearly: If you believe a student has talent, buy them the time to develop their ideas, and give them the resources (including foremost intellectual guidance) to succeed. If you need motivation, think back to that time when you did not follow your advisors wishes on what to study.
One of my points of pride was to get someone who was clearly unhappy and stuck in their field of research to admit what they were really interested in. I was immensely proud to actually push a talented researcher into a more promising future. Because there is another trap around here that is deceptive: The “I am an expert in that, nothing else” and “I should really have a specialization and keep doing that”.
Yes, if what you do is what you are good and successful in, that is good. But during hiring meetings, we are looking just as much for personal development, so you should not stay obligated to your career choices you made when you are twenty.
So what to do? All in all, I have no solutions. If you are stuck, I don’t want you to exponentiate your fear. Get help. Play less shitty chess, and communicate more, with everyone but mostly with yourself. More importantly, if you are not stuck, be open about the days that you are. Don’t constantly overfetishize it though, because at the end of the day we want to focus on the joy of science and not talk each other into hating the things we love and chose to do.
Be more Sisyphus and less Sherlock, be fine with getting effed (this is a family blog) twice a day if it is for what you love (and fucking love everything). Or hate everything.
Oh and Steven, if your dream is to give us a convincing plot, then you go boy. I believe in you. Love and hugs.
For a cup of coffee more 